I Honestly Think Bob Saget is Funny

Anyone who can play an uptight single father and an addict who performed felacio for cocaine is fine with me. He also has funny stand-up about boogers and Jews.

A Defense for the Cover Charge

I've been using the eBlogger website Badslava to locate open mics in New York City and found some folks are angry about paying for a cover and drink at an open mic. To them I say, STFU you cheap bastard!

Sure at first it might seem ironic to PAY for stage time when the ultimate goal is to GET PAID as a performer, but at a deeper look, the practice is in line with other forms of expression where beginners pay to learn how to perform in instructional classes. With comedy, there is no workshop that will graduate you with a funny diploma (if you do have a funny diploma, I suggest you use it for rolling papers instead). In essence, the few measly dollars spent to keep the show going is worth the experience on stage. If you you paid to go up, you will go up.

Free open mics don't have that extra filter that keeps a certain, miserable-class of people away. I don't want to say that the scum of the earth will surface at free open mics, but I will anyways. THE SCUM OF THE EARTH WILL SURFACE AT FREE OPEN MICS. There are always exceptions to this observation, of course since: lowlifes can save up some change to get on the list; great comics can drop-in at freebies for whatever reason.

To All the Haters

I feel sorry for straight people in my dance class. Even the stretches are gay.

Comedia Inlusive

If anyone is reading this, please be aware that I'm writing this specifically for you. It's not on my Facebook or Twitter or Tumblr, no. This is strictly a What's That On Your Shirt post. Feeling good about that is optional.

I performed at Broadway Comedy Club's happy hour on Thursday and enjoyed myself. There are some really funny people there. But such a guy-drivin form of performance. Foul mouths, sluts and hooligans, I thought I was in Chelsea.

I've broken my NY comedy virginity. Now its time to infect the city with my humor. Guzuntight!

First Thursday

Tonight, I'm going to perform some comedy at First Thursday. For those of you Honoluluans familiar with the event, First Thursday is a poetry slam, I'm aware, but there's no rules which means I can do whatever the hell I want. Maybe I'll whip it out on stage...by it, I mean my sarcasm and wit.

Originally, I was going to make Filipino jokes to appease the multi-ethnic crowd of Hawaii, but since Prop 8 got overturned yesterday, I think I'm going to go with the gay jokes. It's more adult oriented and runs a bigger risk of not vibing with the audience, but gay marriage is hot right now. It's easily the biggest news going around, and it would be foolish of me to ignore the comedic timing of it all.

Plus, I can test out my Linda Lingle jokes.

"I'm not saying she's a lesbian, but let's just say she looks like Gov. Schwarzennegger in drag."

One of Those People

Ever since I got my new iPhone, I've been trying really hard not to become one of those people glued to it like an Apple zombie. So far, I think I've been good about it. I haven't really brought it out in front of company for more than a few seconds, but when I'm alone, I do spend a lot of time playing with my apps.

Of course, the Grindr app was one of the first apps that had me hooked. Not so much now. If you don't know what Grindr is, it's pretty much a gay man's hook up app. You don't always have to hook up, but it tends to happen, as is the case for much of the gay community. Grindr uses GPS to find gays near you. It's pretty much Marco Polo for cocksuckers.

I ain't never read no James Joyce. I don't think he ever wrote Filipino jokes, either.

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James Joyce

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